Thursday 5 January 2012


A concept that turns out to be a lot of cheesy fun, the robo-camera B-movie Eyeborgs is out now on DVD. Check out the trailer and my review, next...

In the not too distant future, the cornerstone of the nation's defence is an army of hi-tec robotic cameras known as the Eyeborgs. Installed by President Hewes as the ultimate anti-terrorist system, they protect the nation by keeping a watchful eye over everyday life. When a hobo with a shotgun (no, not that one) goes after the President's nephew, an underground resistance is uncovered that claims we can't believe everything the Eyeborgs see. Charged with protecting the President's punk rocker nephew, it's up to Agent Reynolds (Adrian Paul) to try and uncover what's really going on in the White House.

Eyeborgs is the kind of film that is never going to see the inside of a cinema in its lifetime, but could theoretically find an appreciative audience in the DTV market. Designed to pick up on audience demand for robots fighting humans (much in the same way DTV kings The Asylum released Transmorphers to tie in with Transformers), if you can get the DVD cover art right, you're on to a winner, although be sure to check for any grammatical errors before you go to print.

On top of leading man Adrian Paul (best known as the cheaper Christopher Lambert stand-in from the Highlander TV series) we also have some relative star power courtesy of an extended cameo from Danny Trejo. Quite what drew Trejo to the role of a renegade shop owner I'm not sure, but it probably involved a few noughts being written on a small rectangular piece of paper. For the most part this is Adrian Paul's show, a man whose film career never really took off, with his two-header appearance alongside Christopher Lambert in Highlander: Endgame probably the biggest theatrical release he's had. He does seem to have carved himself quite a niche in the DTV market, though.

A low budget cheese-fest of the highest order, Eyeborgs is stupid fun that picks liberally from the sci-fi genre to create a huge melting pot of cliches. There's Starship Troopers, I, Robot, Transformers, Minority Report, all told through the lens of the George W. Bush presidency. It's as if George Orwell's 1984 was re-imagined by Michael Bay, in that now Big Brother's a big metal spider thing with automatic rifles attached.

Despite some slightly ropey acting and a rather jingoistic approach to international politics (the bad guy is assumed to be the obscure (i.e made up) Islamic nation of Zembeckistan), it also has one almighty hero moment when Adrian Paul gives the finger to an attacking robot. Now who wouldn't want to see that? The 'borgs come in all shapes and sizes, often with handy little attachments like saws and drills, like a sadistic version of Batteries Not Included. As for the CGI, well, it's what you'd expect from a direct to video movie. The robots never really fit in with their environments and don't have the most imaginative design, but that's all part of the low budget charm I suppose.

Don't get me wrong, Eyeborgs could quite easily be described as a bad film, perhaps even a terrible one, but it's a lot of ridiculous fun and never really tries to be anything more than that. How else can you explain the bikini car wash the characters visit midway through the film?


Special Features: Trailer, Deleted Scenes, Making Of, Stunts Featurette, VFX Featurette, Bloopers, How To Make a Robot In Three Minutes

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