Sunday 26 February 2012

How To Re-Package Your Film To Make It More Successful The Second Time Around

Yes, removing the name of the most famous actor and getting rid of that pesky phone has made all the difference.

Friday 24 February 2012


A hit at Sundance in 2010, the Joseph Gordon-Levitt starring and Natalie Portman produced Hesher is out now on DVD.

Thursday 23 February 2012


Have you ever asked yourself the question, am I a man or am I a Muppet? Well thanks to Jason Segel we finally we have a film that can answer that very question.

Friday 17 February 2012

Things I Learnt From The Poster For Mel Gibson's How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Mel Gibson, bless him. He doesn't let the odd scandal slow him down, does he? The poster for his latest comeback effort, titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation, has just been released and offers us some all important clues as to what to expect, apart from the fact that Mel seems to have forgotten how to fire a gun or button a shirt up properly.

Well, that's Mel Gibson then, isn't it? A quick glance at the director reveals it to be Adrian Grunberg, a former second unit director on Apocalypto and Edge of Darkness, making his debut feature here. I'm sure Mel won't have interfered in any way and let Mr Grunberg do the job exactly how he wanted to, as multi-millionaire actors with producing and scriptwriting credits often do. As for the rather cumbersome title, you may have seen it used before for this 1997 romantic comedy.
Something tells me that isn't how Mel spent his summer vacation. A visit to IMDb reveals that the original title of this film is Get The Gringo, which is the sort of casually threatening racial slur that only Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson could get away with. Well, maybe not any more. Still going with Get The Gringo in the States, where the film is rumoured to be going straight to DVD, us lucky Brits get to see it theatrically, apparently thanks to a complete miscomprehension that word of Mel's recent indiscretions didn't make to this side of the pond. The last crucial bit of information the poster gives about the film comes from the ever handy BBFC certification, along with a breakdown of what the film contains.

And that's just Mel's outtakes! I'm joking, obviously. Good to have you back Mel, try to be a good boy, eh?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation should be in cinemas May 11, unless someone says something stupid between now and then.

Thursday 16 February 2012

Darling Companion - Is This The Worst Movie Poster of All Time?

In case you've not heard of Darling Companion, it's the new film from Lawrence Kasdan, acclaimed director of such classics as The Big Chill and Body Heat and screenwriter of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, no less. Given that his last film was the truly horrendous Stephen King adaptation, Dreamcatcher, it's no wonder he's been a bit quiet of late.

Starring one indie film superstar in Mark Duplass, one popular TV actress in Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss and no less than five actors who can claim to be either Oscar nominees or winners (for what it's worth), the makers of this poster didn't see fit to use any of their faces on their primary marketing tool, instead sticking a big photo of a dog front and centre with a poorly photoshopped leg that definitely doesn't belong to either Diane Keaton or Dianne Weist. Why bother using the substantial star power of your cast when you can focus your attention on attracting people who like dogs to be the main characters?

A film that's not aimed at anyone under 60, did they really need to include the quasi-futuristic QR code that links to the trailer? I'm all for silver surfers, but I can't see too many grandmothers whipping out their smart phones when they see the poster. I'm not sure that I even know how they work yet. Looking like it's advertising Air Bud: The Retirement Years, you'd probably expect the dog to be a major part of the story, but after viewing the trailer it looks like the dog, cruelly named Freeway in a constant reminder of his past trauma, hardly features in the film at all.

Given the overall blandness of the family that takes him in, you can't really blame him for doing a runner, can you? In answer to my initial question, this may not be the worst movie poster of all time (that's obviously going to be an ongoing fight to the death), but it's got to be the dullest.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

Not To Be Confused With... #6

Hmm, I wonder which one is the cinema release with recognisable movie star voices in it, and which one is the hastily repackaged and retitled film being released on DVD days earlier to try and trick unsuspecting idiots into picking it up whilst they're whizzing around Tesco? If you need me to tell you which is the correct answer you're in the wrong place.

I'm sure the irony of them calling their next film The Pirates, only to have the title stolen by someone else at the last minute isn't lost on Aardman. Anyway, you've got to admire a film that's called Pirates but features no actual pirates on the cover, instead focusing on a rather dishevelled looking ship and a clunker of a tagline that needs two exclamation points to liven it up a bit. The reason why there's no pirates on the cover is probably because after a little bit of online research (thanks IMDb), I discovered that the original cover for Pirates, or should I say the 2001 German animation The Pirates of Tortuga: Under the Black Flag, looks a little something like this...

I don't know what the guy on the left is so happy about, given that his ship's mostly underwater.

Monday 13 February 2012

Sunday 12 February 2012


Osama Bin Laden is back, and this time he's dead. Or more specifically undead, rising from his watery grave to start a zombie apocalypse that only a rogue group of cheap actors soldiers can stop.
Why just have zombies when you can have zombies that will threaten the American way of life? This trailer might not show too much of the plot (probably because there isn't much of a plot), but it does give a pretty good idea of what you can expect from a film called Osombie. If you like explosions, kicking and broad racial profiling, this may be the film for you.

With a title that manages to be brilliantly obvious whilst also not making any sense (the words Osama and zombie don't really blend together naturally, do they?), what else would you expect from a director whose last film was called You're So Cupid? Despite having the effects budget of a mid season Doctor Who episode, Osombie looks like it might be fun, if not the kind of fun you're ever likely to see inside a cinema. Part of me hopes this is what became of Kathryn Bigelow's mooted Bin Laden film that was put on hold, what with him dying n'all.

One to file under "so, this is a thing", I'm still not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

Saturday 11 February 2012


Fusing the Blair Witch Project with Jurassic Park, Troll Hunter is out now on DVD and Blu-ray, watch the trailer and read my review, next.

Friday 10 February 2012

Not To Be Confused With... #5

If you're looking for a way to get sued by a major motion picture studio as quickly as possible, why not try a bit of intellectual property theft? In an utterly shameless move that will actually probably work at gaining an audience to see the film, the makers of A Good Old Fashioned Orgy have created this impressively plagiaristic poster that looks more than a little bit familiar.

Same big glowy font? Check. Chubby guy with a beard and sunglasses? Check. Middle guy wearing a brown polo shirt? Check. As far as I can tell, the biggest change they've made is switching out the baby for an inflatable pink flamingo which, let's be honest, probably isn't going to have much of an impact on the film's storyline. I suppose you can't blame them, this isn't the first time The Hangover's been plagarised with negative consequences. I mean, did you see The Hangover Part 2? Badum Tish.

If A Good Old Fashioned Orgy seems like your kind of film, it'll be arriving straight to DVD sometime later this year, thankfully with a less lawsuit-y cover.

Thursday 9 February 2012

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Obscurity Files - Loose Cannons

Never heard of it? Well there's usually a good reason for that. Find out my opinion of Gene Hackman and Dan Aykroyd's "wacky" double act, next.

Tuesday 7 February 2012


The work of 22 year old Xavier Dolan, the enfant terrible of French Canadian cinema with gravity defying hair, Heartbeats is out now on DVD. Watch the trailer and read my review, next.

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Superbowl XLVI Was Merely An Excuse To Get Everyone Looking In The Same Direction Whilst They Advertised Upcoming Taylor Kitsch Movies


Sunday 5 February 2012


Starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day, this Strangers On A Train for The Hangover crowd is out now on DVD and Blu-ray. Read my review, next.

Saturday 4 February 2012


Aiming to do for the superhero genre what Paranormal Activity did for horror, the found footage teen drama Chronicle is now in cinemas. Watch the trailer and read my review, next...

Friday 3 February 2012


Using interviews and dramatic reconstruction to tell the astonishing true story of Joyce Vincent, a woman whose body remained undiscovered in her flat for 3 years, the documentary Dreams of A Life is now in cinemas. Watch the trailer and read my review, next...

Thursday 2 February 2012

The New Trailer For Star Wars: Episode One - The Phantom Menace 3D Tries To Subtly Lower 8 Year Old Children's Expectations By Being Terrible

As one last marketing push for the re-release of a thirteen year old movie, George Lucas' minions have decided to target the crucial kid demographic by talking to them in a way they understand, i.e. talking to them like they're retarded surfers.
"Woah dude! This movie's still totally going to suck, but this time in 3D!"
I'm paraphrasing but you get the idea.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D is re-released in cinemas on February 10th. Or you could just trick your kids by staying at home, putting 3D glasses on them and watching the film on those videos, DVDs and Blu-rays you own.

Wednesday 1 February 2012


You have to admire the sheer filmmaking prowess of French director/producer supremo Luc Besson. A lot of the films he produces tend to not be the most original in terms of story, but they've always got that extra bit of oomph that pushes the films dangerously close to ridiculousness. Not sure what I mean? Well, it's quite obvious that this film is just Escape From New York but set in space, even down to the saving of the President's daughter as Guy Pearce's all important reason for being there. He's Snake Plissken without the eye-patch.

Written by Luc Besson along with co-directors James Mather and Stephen St Ledger, kudos to whichever one of them came up with the line, "there's only one man who can get her out. He's the best there is but he's a loose cannon". That's pure action movie brilliance. Despite its clear 'borrowing' from other films, there's one aspect of this film that will guarantee me watching it; the casting of Misfits' Joe Gilgun as the villain. Looking like an outer space crack addict, he's sure to be great value, whatever the quality of the finished product. With his Scottish accent and rough demeanour he looks as menacing as Robert Carlyle in Trainspotting. Space Begbie, you might call him.

There's still some confusion as to what the film's actually called as although the trailer says Lockout, IMDb and other sites are going with the slightly harder to say but more memorable MS One: Maximum Security. If they're still undecided I'm going to put my suggestion forward...